Here I Go Again

Well I'm off to re-join the gym today.

I've found some cropped trousers and a t-shirt (they're falling off me but thank God for drawstring waists). I can't see the point in spending money on gym clothes that will (hopefully) be too big in another couple of weeks time.

At the moment I'm only going to use the toning tables. That's going to be a novelty, as I've always been too heavy to use them before

I'm going to give the heavy stuff a miss at the moment as I'm still only on Sole Source (only foodpacks) and I don't want to be burning up the only energy I'm getting

Also, the other thing I've noticed is that in this weather if I don't drink enough I start feeling faint when I stand up, so that wouldn't be good at the gym. Although perhaps some hunky bodybuilder might come to rescue me

So I'm off to try out the toning tables in about half an hours time.

Perhaps after Christmas I will go up to the 790 plan and then I'll start using the gym equipment (we'll see).

... but not for me

On my 13th weigh in I've lost another 6lbs

I won't be having a weigh in next week as my Counsellor is on holiday so I've bought 2 weeks worth of Cambridge diet. There were only two of my beloved Malt Toffee bars left, but there were some new peanut ones and also cranberry bars. I tried the peanut tonight and it's lovely (reminds me of snickers), but not good for anyone with false teeth

Oh and I noticed that on last weeks tracker I'd managed to take an extra pound off by mistake (wishful thinking), but this week it's correct

Yes I know it's a bit early to be thinking about it, but it will be here before we know it

The reason for this post is that as long as I can remember I have never met anyone my husband works with. I totally avoid all social situations. He's not ashamed of me, I'm ashamed of myself. I can't stand the thought that they will be talking about him and feeling sorry for him and wondering what he's doing with me

The place he works at now organises a lot of all expenses paid trips etc for the staff and as my husband is a Manager he feels that he has to go. I never go to any of these and it makes me feel really guilty sending him on his own (I'm sure they must think he's not really married!!!).

The problem I have now is that there is going to be a Christmas Party
(twenties theme with gangsters, flappers etc) and he wants me to go. If I stay on track I should have hopefully lost around another 5 stone by then, but what if I haven't??? I'm terrified to book it because it won't be the first time I've backed out of something at the last minute because I feel so crap about myself.

Hmmmm I don't know what to do. I'm feeling guilty again :: ::

I honestly don't know why he bothers

Well I wasn't really bitchy.

I think I wrote in my blog at the beginning that I had been helping out at WW for years. When I left (because obviously it was doing nothing for me), someone told me that the leader had commented that "she'll soon be back"

Today I've seen the other lady that does the clerking and her husband asked me if I'd lost weight (she'd never mentioned it before), and I sweetly replied "Oh yes - just a bit"

So put that in your pipe and smoke it

I know Ive had a photo posting frenzy the last week, but these are my 12 week pics.
I've noticed that in both pics I've got my legs together, but look how close my feet are in the latest photo. Also, my collar bones are becoming more prominent

Excuse the flabby arms, I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to have surgery on them (more about that later)

Off to work now.

Have a good day everyone

Me: Where's my Fibre 89

Him: What?

Me: My Fibre 89

Him: I didn't know we had a vibrating iron !!

Lost another 3lbs tonight

So I've made it into the teens for the first time in 5 years.

Whoo hoo !!!!

Next target is 18 stone 10 - which is the weight I was when I joined WW for the very first time in 1993

it's not much cooler at all.

I was lulled into a false sense of security this morning.

I've been hotter today than I was yesterday

My face is this colour

Last night was number 2 sons leaving assembly at school. I was dreading it, because when my other son left we were in a hall with no windows or air conditioning and we were all melting.

Fortunately last night they had the bright idea of having it on the school lawn. It was still hot, but there was the occasional light breeze.

We had a lovely night , although I'm glad I was wearing my sunglasses because at the start of the first song (R Kellys - The Worlds Greatest) I nearly let a tear escape )

All the children had a part to say (its only a small school), but because of it being on the lawn we couldn't hear anyone, apart from my son (must take after his mother )

The children really looked as though they really enjoyed theirselves and none of the parents could believe they were leaving already.

Also one of the parents who organised a leavers disco for them last week came up to us to congratulate us on having such a polite son. She said he nearly made her cry at the end of the disco, because he was the only one that went up to the two of them and told them he'd had a great night and to thank them for organising it all (that's my boy!!)

So I'm a little sad that he's growing up and starting a new school, but also very proud of him. I told him I wanted him to stay my baby forever, but as he pointed out, he's already taller than me

So l was left with a lovely warm fuzzy glow last night (and not from the sun either!)

Took some photos when we got home because number 1 son needed some family pics for his website. Haven't had a look at them yet, but if they're any good I might post some later.

Have a nice day everyone - it rained last night and feels much cooler here now. Hope that's not the end of the Summer

work.

Although for the last hour I've sat and looked at blogs.

Well they shouldnt make me work on a day like this

I blame this incident totally on Fatal for putting the idea into my head this morning

When a patient comes into surgery and tells you his twins are lying naked

don't reply

"Everyone should be naked in this weather"

because

a tumbleweed will roll by, and then the patient will run out of the surgery leaving only a smoke trail behind him

Just got this e-mail.

I'm not 40 for another 4 years, but I reckon I do have false fat.

I'm not really fat it's all an illusion

Why Diets Don't Work
for Women over 40

If you are a woman over 40, you are probably making a very common mistake in your efforts to lose weight. But if you make a simple change to correct it, you'll start shedding those unwanted pounds.

I know - it happened to me!

You see, once we hit 40, our body chemistry changes, and it becomes harder to digest certain foods.

This change in digestion has a direct impact on your weight, causing inflammation that packs on pounds, which I refer to as "false fat!"

That's why you need diet advice designed especially for women over 40. I'm Susan Lark, M.D., and I put women's needs first. My weight loss approach takes into account the critical changes in body chemistry women over 40 experience.

It's easy to get rid of false fat, if you know what foods trigger inflammation.

As far as I know, no "diet" has ever done this - which is why women are getting the results they want from my weight loss program. You can lose those extra pounds by following my easy tips. Click here to get absolutely free my Three Simple Steps to Thin TODAY - and begin shedding unwanted pounds right away.

You're going to love this!

Susan Lark, M.D.

P.S. Small changes can make big differences in your weight and overall health - learn which fatty food can actually help you slim down - and which super nutrient boosts your energy output. It's all right here. If you do just one thing for yourself today, click here for my Three Simple Steps to Thin. They're yours for the taking.

Well I've had an official e-mal from our PCT (Primary Care Trust), that there will be a heatwave from 9am Monday morning to 9am Thursday morning.

Just in case any of you hadn't noticed

I haven't done one of these yet. Don't know how old it is or who I borrowed it from (sorry)

1. Your name spelled backwards: haraS

2. Where were your parents born? West Midlands

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Music

4. Have you ever been in a school play? Yes

5. Type of music you dislike most? Dance/Techno (or bonking music, as my mother calls it )

6. Are you registered to vote? Yep

7. Do you have a car? No.

8. Have you ever ridden on a moped? Yes

9. Ever prank call anybody? No.

10. Ever got a parking ticket? Don't drive

11. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Never in a million years

12. Furthest place you ever travelled? Holland

13. Do you have a garden? Yes

14. What’s the size of your bed? Double

15. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? No

16. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Bath - night

17. Best movie you’ve seen in the past 4 months? I've watched Reeker, Half Light, The Omen, X-Men and Superman in the last couple of weeks, but I wouldnt watch any of them again.

18. What’s the next movie you want to see? The Lake House

19. Have you ever broken any hearts? Yes

20. Are you a good cook? Yes

21. Orange or Apple juice? Orange

22. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with & where did you go to? Friends and family to a Chinese Buffet.

23. Favorite type of drink? Coffee

24. Best thing in the world? My family

25. Have you ever broken a bone? No

26. Have you ever won a trophy? Yes (well the cats have)

27. What is your favourite board game? Scrabble

28. What is your dream car? I don't know.

29. Ever order an article from an infomercial? No

30. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi Max

31. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? No

32. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Paracetamol

33. Who would you like to meet? erm ooh I don't know.

34. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes

35. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Too many to count.

36. Last song stuck in your head? Dani California - RHCP

37. Any pets? Yes - 8 cats

38. What is one thing you would like to learn to do? Be patient

39. What do you do when you are bored? Read

40. Bacon sandwiches – should they have bread or toast? White bread and ketchup.

I have an obsessive compulsive disorder and it drives me mad. It started when I was about 9 and I became obssessed with germs being on everything. I wouldnt touch a door handle or pick up a telephone. I washed all of the skin off my hands until they were raw and bleeding.

I thought I had grown out of it, but sometimes I realise it's still there.

I can't go to bed without shutting all the drawers in the bedroom. I can't have anything hanging out of the door of the wardrobe. The curtains have to be fully closed with no gaps at all. I sometimes have to read paragraphs of books over and over again. I wash the taps in the bathroom when I've used them. I've sent my Dad to my house numerous times convinced I've left the iron or my straighteners on. When I cook chicken (not a whole one I couldnt cope with that!!) all of the surface in the kitchen have to be bleached and washed, just in case someone gets salmonella. My ornaments have to be in exactly the same place and at the right angle.

Could you live with me??

And to the outside world I seem quite normal

p.s but you'll never get food poisoning at mine

I've now been on this diet for 80 days. That's 80 days with no real food whatsoever, not even a taste of something.

Yesterday I was very very tempted. Because it was so hot I didnt feel like cooking a Sunday roast. Number 2 son was out at a Chinese Restaurant and Number 1 son had his girlfriend over, so hubby decided to go and buy a roast chicken and some flavoured chicken legs from Asda. All I had to do then was a salad and some bits and pieces to go with it.

Sounds easy, but when I was cutting up the chicken (BBQ), I don't know how I stopped it from accidentally making its way into my mouth. I was standing in the kitchen thinking "they'll never know. I could just have a little taste and no-one would ever know".

However, I didn't have a taste, because I know that if I have one little taste and get away with it, it's going to lead to another little taste of something else and so on.

That's the reason I put on so much weight. I had no control over food at all - it controlled me.

I now feel I'm getting some control , and that makes me happier than a taste of any food.

A lady came into surgery Friday complaining of back pain. The Dr sent her out to reception to get some condoms.

Neither us nor the patient knew why, but she laughed so much it took her mind off her back.

Perhaps the Doctor knows something we don't.

So next time you have back pain, you know what you have to do

 Another 5lbs lost this week.

I tried breathing in on the scales to just make it go under 20 but it didnt work, and she wouldnt let me take my clothes off (such a spoilsport, but maybe she was worried about the nightmares)

I shall definitely be under 20 stone next week, so I shall be in the teens for the first time in 5 years

Do you remember the episode of Friends where they have a deal where they each get to pick five different celebrities that they can sleep with, and the other one can't get mad.

Not that I would ever dream of cheating on my husband, but here are mine - in order of preference

1. Slash

2. Anthony Kiedis

3. Justin Hawkins

4. Wentworth Miller

5. Robbie Williams

Well I have to think of something to keep my mind off eating

I was getting worried the other day when my son was talking about "bumming" his friends.

Apparently it means to like someone these days

In my day it meant to really like someone a lot

Yes I'm afraid this is a good as my experiments get.

I've been waiting 2 weeks for some knickers to be delivered and every bloody day I've left the porch door open.

Today I'm not going to leave the porch door open.

Wonder if they'll come??

Yep don't think I'll get through the day with all this tension

p.s they're not kinky stuff from Anne Summers either. The last time someone (not me!!) ordered something from AS they asked their neighbour if it could be delivered there and told them it was a watch. Unfortunately the neighbours husband opened it and had rather a surprise.

UPDATE:- they didnt come - I shall be knickerless

I was on the phone at work today when someone asked for my e-mail address so I read it out to them as

sarah dot swift at etc.

When I came off the phone the girl I work with turned to me and said "I didn't know your middle name was Dot"

Honestly - I give up

Before I discovered the Cambridge Diet I was seriously considering surgery. After reading a few horror stories and realising that I'm a chicken and have never had any surgery (never mind the fact that I'm a hypochondriac!!) I decided against it.

I am now so glad I didnt bother. I read a few blogs about the surgery before I started this diet and looking back on them now I realise that I've lost more weight than most of them in the same amount of time.

They will never be able to go back to eating normally, and they have to taken tons of pills per day as their bodies will never be able to get all the vitamins they need, due to the small amount of food they can consume.

My sister is a nurse and she had a day of patients coming in for weight loss surgery yesterday. One lady who was bigger than me when I started (nearly 25 stone) was absolutely petrified that she wouldn't come out of the anaesthetic. That was one of the things that scared me most about surgery (especially at my weight).

I wonder if these patients have ever heard of VLCD's. It's a shame that hospitals don't promote them more, rather than performing surgery. Surely surgery is more of a risk than trying a VLCD for a couple of months.

My sister says she was dying to tell them about me, but we don't think the surgeon would have been very pleased

Anyway that's just my opinion and it was my decision to go down this route rather than surgery, and I have to say, so far it's one of the best decisions I've made

Thanks for your help everyone. I finally managed to put my weight chart up

paste a table into my blog.

I wanted to put my weight loss chart on here, but it's all out of alignment and looks messy (and I cant stand messy things )

Sorry to be thick.

Anyone???

Finally, I can buy cheap clothes.

I'm not saying that I need to buy cheap clothes but I feel that because of my size I've been ripped of by certain clothes stores that charge a fortune.

Yesterday we went to town and I bought two new skirts, a dress and a jacket for the grand total of £50 - I usually pay that for one skirt and a top

My sons came too and after we'd dropped one of their many guitars in for a service we proceeded round the goth/rock/emo shops that I won't dare go in by myself without a suitably weird looking son with me. I've seen some lovely velvet skirts and basque tops that I've got my eye on when I'm down to my target weight (still not sure about the PVC stuff though )

Mutton dressed as lamb??? who me??

I think the Gods of dieting are conspiring against me. Not only have I had to suffer veg soup for breakfast, but now tonight there were none of my beloved Malt Toffee Bars left

But on a brighter note I've lost another 4lbs

That got your attention didnt it. Get your minds out of the gutter.

Hubby and me were trying to decide on what to do that didnt involve eating or drinking. He suggested we went to the cinema and I could sniff the cock porn.

For a second I thought he was suggesting going to some late night thing they had on, until I realised he'd just got his words mixed up and meant popcorn.

Pity, I've never sniffed any cock porn. Bet it's a bugger if it goes up your nose

Hmmm hope no-ones searching for cock porn and bugger and end up here cos they will be very disappointed

Well it wasn't too bad.

I made the veg soup into crisps. They were actually quite nice for breakfast.

Don't think I could have faced eating it as soup

Remember my lodger from the other week. These are the babies from last years litter. Hope the new babies are as cute.

When I got home from my weekend away I discovered I had left a soup at the caravan. Then last night I discovered I've only been given 6 bars instead of 7

Luckily my CDC had given me an extra pack the other week. But this means I have to have soup for breakfast tomorrow. Yukk  and I'm still a pack short!!

Somehow I don't think vegetable soup as a breakfast dish will catch on

I think I will have to get some new clothes soon.

All the clothes I was waiting to slim down into are now dropping off me

Some of them I havent even managed to get any wear out of because I kept thinking "they'll never fit me yet" and when I've tried them on they're too big

I've only got one pair of cropped jeans that I can't get into yet. I bought them from Asda last week in a couple of sizes smaller, for my holiday

I've always been a clothesaholic and I had a wardrobe packed to the brim with clothes, which is now looking a little sad and empty Now I have to find someone who needs sizes 26-32 - I don't know anyone bigger than me

Not that I'm complaining, but I think this diet is going to cost me more than I thought
p.s. my eldest son made my day yesterday. I came in from work dressed in a black shirt and skirt and wearing my huge "designer" sunglasses and he told me I looked like one of the WAGS. I hope it was a compliment. Don't want to be quite as skinny as Victoria Beckham though

Have had a lovely relaxing weekend. Weather was beautiful

A couple of revelations this weekend.

1. Now I've lost weight my bum really hurts when I have to sit in the car for a couple of hours

2. I can walk for hours and my feet don't hurt

For some reason this weekend I also decided to wear sleeveless tops because it was so hot. I've never worn sleeveless tops in public before, but for some reason this weekend I didn't really care. And you know what?? I didn't see any people fall off their bikes or struck down by blindness at the sight of my arms and it wasn't in any of the local papers the next day. Don't know why I was so bothered all these years

I also mentally totted up all the food I would have eaten (from earlier posts you will know this is an obssession of mine) and it wouldn't have been good.

For this reason I've decided that I will still stick to sole source on my main holiday in August. I was toying with the idea of having a week off, but I realise it just isn't worth it. It was no big deal to me this weekend having my usual Cambridge diet - it's just a way of life to me now.

On another note my darling husband bought me some new perfume, underwear and a dressing gown for our anniversary (spoiled me??? nah )