Here I Go Again

Surgery Update

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:58:56 +0100

Had the surgery - didn't go as well as planned.

Took 4 hours and have had lots of problems since I'm still not supposed to be using my arms and it's still painful after 5 weeks, but they are much much better than they were.

Unfortunately it looks like the left one will have to be done again, but I'm still thinking about it.

On another note I shall be in the "Fit Squad" in "The Sun" newspaper next week.

Hope everyone is well

Comments

Plastic Surgery

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 00:49:24 +0200

Have the date for my surgery on my arms - 21st September.

1 week after my birthday

Keep your fingers crossed for me

Comments

Aaaaargh

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 17:37:35 +0200

So I'm off to London tomorrow for a makeover and more photos.

Obviously I'm an old pro at posing now , but I'm dreading the makeover and being "messed" with. I'm such a happy little soul

I'm frightened I'll be caked in makeup and end up looking like Cruella Deville!!

I'll let you know when you can see the results.

Comments

Magazine

Thu, 31 May 2007 15:20:25 +0200

I shall be in Full House Magazine - Issue 25 out on 14th June (if anyones interested of course).

Comments

Monthly pics from beginning to end

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 10:26:29 +0200

Ooops deleted the first post - thanks for the comments though - Sminchin - You know I love anything sparkly. Juzzy - I shall bear that in mind . Liz - thanks

Comments

Thanks Everyone

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 08:49:19 +0200

Thanks everyone for your comments on my goodbye. I'm not quite sure why I can't keep a blog, but the rule must be there for a reason.

I'm really enjoying being a Counsellor and obviously I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardise that

So if you're near me and would like a Counsellor my details are now on the Cambridge Site http://www.cambridge-diet.com/newccinfo/19592.html (with my lovely flattering photo I might add )

Comments

Goodbye

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 17:56:17 +0200

No - it's not one of those dramatic goodbyes, but unfortunately I do have to say goodbye.

I've had confirmation from Cambridge today that I can keep this blog online, but as I'm now a Counsellor I'm not allowed to add any more text to it.

I shall keep on reading all your blogs.

I've enjoyed writing this over the past year and getting to know you all.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{huggggggggggggsssssss everyone}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

p.s. if anyone wants my mobile number drop me a private message (it will be on the Cambridge site for everyone to see soon anyway).

Comments

Old Habits Die Hard

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 15:51:39 +0200

I know I'm obsessed - I just typed "Diet" instead of "Die" for the title

On Friday my family always have a takeaway, and I somehow managed to convince myself (and my hubby) that if I had a chicken kebab, with salad, it would add up to the same as my chicken portion, carb portion and salad that I have for my 1000kcal evening meal.

However, I was a good girl (I can be you know!!) and told him not to bother. Had cottage cheese, tuna and sald with balsamic vinegar instead. But I was sooooooo tempted !!! :-[" class="middle" border="0"> :-[" class="middle" border="0">

I have to realise that I'm going to have to be careful for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, just because I managed to lose weight easily doesn't mean that it's going to stay off so easily. Especially when that naughty little voice in my head starts up again Any ideas how to get rid of her???

Comments

Sorry

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 09:49:25 +0200

I haven't been around much lately or commenting on your blogs, but I've been busy (yep I am sometimes ).

So to update you all. I'm now a fully accredited Cambridge Counsellor, and have had my first client. I've been to the bank and set up a proper business account. My dining room is now turned into my "Cambridge" room and is full of everything Cambridge

My weight is steadily still going down (not very good at this stabilisation lark!!!) On Friday my weight was 10 stone 13 - I had to take a photo of the scales with me standing on them, because the last time I was 10 stone something it was 1985!!!

Oh and a poke in the eye for feminisim I was heckled and shouted at by builders who wanted to show me their tools I was totally disgusted Oh ok " class="middle" border="0"> I suppose it's not too bad for someone edging closer to 40 than 20 and been morbidly obese for the majority of their life. I was always terrified by builder before in case they made some comment about my size.

PR manager from Cambridge is coming later, so have to tidy up the house and make sure sons are suitably warned to keep down the music and not play guitar full blast!!

I've promised hubby I won't agree to do Playboy >" class="middle" border="0"> I'll let you know how I get on.

Comments

Food!!!

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 10:14:32 +0200

Had a few sticky moments last week. Everything was sooo much easier when I didn't have to eat. All the moaning I did about wanting to eat normal food again, and when it comes to it, its driving me mad. For some reason last week I started getting cravings for really sweet things. I caved in (see I am human!!!)and ate an oreo (you know, one of those American cookies) and a small apple. I felt so bad I was soon texting my Counsellor telling her I wanted to Sole Source again. I knew that I couldn't and that I would never finish my stabilisation stage if I did, but I think I just needed a bit of reassurance. Everything is now back on track and normal again. Cravings went as soon as they came

Comments

Changing Perceptions

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 09:27:30 +0200

At the moment I'm currently carrying around with me a "before" photograph of myself, because everyone seems to want to see one (not that I mind). Yesterday two old friends of mine asked to see it (both of them I've known and kept in contact with since school). Both of them looked at the photo's yesterday in disbelief and said they couldn't ever remember me being that big (I see both of them regularly, so it's not that they hadn't seen me at my biggest).
When I look at the "before" photos now, I can't ever remember being that big either The face and body don't look like mine at all. It's like looking at a totally different person - even my face is different.
My husband took some photos of me yesterday (for my counsellor) and when I look at those photos I don't see "me" either It's a strange feeling, because when I look at the "now" photos I see someone who looks "normal" and dare I say it quite "OK" looking
The only problem I have with feeling like this is that every time I take a "now" photo I look at it and think how "small" I look (obviously compared to before, I am small). But now when I look back at those photos I see someone who is still very overweight (which of course I was, just to me it was skinny at the time!!).
Remember the "Slimmer of the Year" photos that I had taken of me in that red top?? I remember looking at that and thinking how slim and good I looked and everyone assured me that I did. Now I look at it and see massive hips and a big round face.
What if I feel like that about my "now" photos (taken yesterday), in a couple of months time?? I felt like I was finally getting a grip on my weight loss and I do actually feel "normal" now, until I saw those photos yesterday. I think my head still needs a bit of "catching up" time.

I haven't been to the gym lately, as I stupidly hurt my back on the rotadex machine, so I'm just walking at the moment. Eating is ok. Have had a few problems with the 790 plan. It's around double the amount of protein I was eating on add-a-meal plus and extra tablespoon of vegetables. I think the shock to my stomach after almost a year of not eating was too much and I've been suffering with stomach cramps and nausea. I'm currently getting round this by splitting it into two meals a day instead of one in the evening, and so far this seems to be working better for me.

So for anyone that didn't see the photo of me in my red topp (I think it was a "friends only" post), I've posted it again, plus the new pic of me and I think you'll see what I mean.

Comments

Training

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 11:47:22 +0200

Finished my Cambridge Counsellor Training. It was very useful and interesting.

Have just filled out my questionnaires and Accreditation. Just need to send them off and hopefully I will be able to start counselling very soon

p.s lost another 1lb this week.

Comments

Maintenance

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 16:04:46 +0100

Had a busy week so not been round here lately. Will hopefully catch up on blogs later

Number one son was 16 on Tuesday - makes me feel old (not as old as I would with the extra 14+ stone on me though )

So here's how my maintenance and exercise are going so far.

Managed to lose another 2 lbs this week - bringing my total to a nice round 200lbs lost

First week of gym and add-a-meal (first week of maintenance)

Exercise
12/03/07 15 min treadmill, 15 min stepper Level 4, 12min Bike - Level 4
Food
3 x Cambridge Diets + Cottage cheese + celery

Exercise
13/03/07 15 min bike - level 4, 20min treadmill - 6%incline - 5mph, 15 mins stepper - level4
Food
3 x Cambridge Diets + chicken (no skin), Tbsp cauli, Tbsp cabbage

Exercise
14/03/07 20 min treadmill - 6.6% incline - 6mph, 15 min stepper - level 4, 12 min bike - level 4
Food
3 x Cambridge Diets + chicken + cabbage and cauliflower (leftover from yesterday)

Exercise
15/03/07 25min treadmill - 6.6% incline - 6mph, 15 min stepper level 4, 12 min X-trainer - level 4
Food
3 x Cambridge Diets + Cottage Cheese + 2tbsp pickled red cabbage

16/03/07 - no exercise - weigh in day.
Food
3 x Cambridge Diets + Crab (not strictly allowed ), 2tbsp green leaves

Exercise
17/03/07 50min on Gazelle (at home)
Food
3 x Cambridge Diets + Quorn + Broccoli

Exercise
18/03/07 Feeling lazy on Mothers Day - 1hour of toning tables only
Food
3 x Cambridge Diets + chicken + 2 tbsp sprouts

Comments

Gym

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 14:56:48 +0100

I've decided to go back to the gym tonight. I'm now starting my maintenance and introducing more food so I don't think it will do me any harm.
Went shopping yesterday for some new gym clothes and bought size 10-12 tops and bottoms I still haven't got over the shock of them fitting me .
My husband says I keep buying everything too big and I've got a "magic" mirror that makes me look fatter than I really am He insisted I buy size 12 jeans on Saturday. They looked tiny, but I gave in, with the thought that I might lose a few inches and slim into them. I tentatively pulled them up my legs when I got home, and they fit - with room to spare!!!
So, back to the gym tonight to try and tone up a bit more, and get fit of course
p.s. have also had an appointment to see the plastic surgeon.

Comments

Goal Weight

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 23:05:07 +0100

I did it!!! I lost 3lbs tonight so am under my goal of 11 stone 7lbs (although I've confused my ticker and its saying I've still got 2lb to lose)

Maintenance here I come.

Just had a glass of champagne. Promise to be good from now on

Comments

Messing about

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 15:55:35 +0100

Just realised I'd got my pro account, so I'm sure I shall be messing about with this blog ~~and totally cocking everything up~~.

I just love to mess about with things My Mom would never give me anything to look after when I was younger because she said once it had been in my hands for 10 minutes, it was usually broke (no comments thank you >" class="middle" border="0"> )

Bear with me.

Comments

Baby

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 18:35:05 +0100

My new 9lb 7oz baby nephew.

Comments

Oops baby's on his way

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 16:38:11 +0100

Looks like my new nephew is about to put in an appearance. As I'm one of the birthing partners I'm just waiting for a lift to my sisters.

It would be today!! Hubby who is usually the taxi is going to Manchester with work for the match tonight and won't be home til at least midnight. I'd ordered my shopping later than normal, due to the Doctors appt, so I've had to wait in for that to come. Sod's Law!!

Good job I'm organised

Got my bag packed - Dr Pepper Zero, 2 Cambridge Bars, Chewing gum, 2 magazines, bodyspray, mobile phone, camera, purse - think I've got everything.

He's going to be a big one - my guess is 10lb 9oz. I'll let you know

Keep your fingers crossed

Comments

Doctors Appt update

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 12:44:09 +0100

I went - and it was nowhere near as bad as I thought. I manage to get myself all anxious for nothing
The Doctor was lovely to me. He was very impressed with my weight loss and said I'd done very well. He took a look at my arms and agreed that no amount of exercise is going to help them and that I really need plastic surgery. He explained that they have to be careful with plastic surgery on the NHS and he didn't want to build up my hopes, but he thought that in the circumstances they should do it for me. He asked me to go and see the Secretary for a "Choose and Book" Referral. While I was sitting there I was sure I knew her face, but thought it was probably from one of the meetings. I said I thought I knew her, then she looked at my card and noticed my old address. She looked at me and said "You haven't got two children??" - I said yes, then she said "Have you lost a lot of weight?" (cue sniggering from me!!) Anyway it turned out that she had done a "party" (candles, gifts etc) at my old house 10 years ago and remembered me moving here. To cut a long story short we ended up chatting for ages, I helped with the computer referral and she said I should get a job there >" class="middle" border="0"> >" class="middle" border="0">
So I've rung the hospital and they're ringing me back in two weeks to give me an appointment. >" class="middle" border="0">

Comments

Dieting Options

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 12:31:46 +0100

I'd never thought about this before, but I've never actually mentioned that you don't have to be as strict as I am on the Cambridge Diet. I have only ever done Sole Source and Add-a-Meal. Now I'm coming up to maintenance I shall be going up the steps, but you don't have to do it this way. Some people start off on the 1000 cals and stay on it to lose weight, or they work their way down slowly to Sole Source. These are the options anyway:-

Step 1 - Sole Source - 415-554 calories. This consists of 3-4 Cambridge Diets (bars,soups or shakes) depending on your height, only black coffe or tea and water. Also included in this step is Add-A-Meal(after 4 weeks of Sole Source). This is 415-510 calories or 548 - 640 calories and includes 3-4 Cambridge diets plus a small amount of protein and vegetables. This is for one week following 4 weeks of Sole Source or 2 weeks as a maintenance Step.
This is for anyone who is overweight with at least 1 stone to lose.

Step 2 - 790 - 790 calories. This is 3 Cambridge Diets plus skimmed milk, protein (more than add-a-meal) and green and white vegetables.
This is for anyone who has a BMI of 25 or more, anyone preparing for weight loss on Sole Source, anyone who needs to eat on social occasions who could not therefore use SS or anyone who has lost weight with SS, used Add-A-Meal and is on the stabilisation programme.

Step 3 - 1000 - 1000 calories. This is 2 cambridge diets plus skimmed milk, 150cal breakfast, green salad for lunch, 460cal dinner + fruit.
This is for anyone who is overweight and prefers a more gradual weight loss programme, anyone who finds it impossible to avoid conventional eating, anyone who is working through maintenance or anyone who is preparing for weight loss on a lower step. This applies to Step 4 and 5.

Step 4 - 1200 - 1200calories. This is 1 Cambridge diet, skimmed milk plus a 250 or 150 calorie breakfast, 200 or 300cal lunch plus a Cambridge diet and a 370cal dinner plus fruit for dessert.

Step 5 - 1500 - 1500cal - 300cal breakfast + skimmed milk and a Cambridge Diet, 350cal Lunch plus 50cal fruit, 100cal snack, 350cal dinner plus 150cal dessert.

Comments

Doctors Appointment

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 11:21:54 +0100

So I've finally plucked up the courage to make a Doctors appointment. As some of you will know I hate going to the Doctors more than anything. If I had anything wrong with me I always asked the Doctor or the Nurses opinion at work (fortunately not very often) and I can count the amount of times I've been to this Doctors on one hand (and I've lived here for 10 years). So what's all the fuss about??
I'm going to see about a referral to a plastic surgeon. Now I'm not being overly dramatic about this, and I'm not being extremely vain
If you look at my before photos (a couple of posts earlier) you can see how massive my arms are. Now imagine what a 14stone weight loss did to those. Believe me when I say there's no way I can wear a sleeveless top. In fact there was more chance of me wearing a sleeveless top then, than there is now.
I'm not taking the easy way out, and I will try and do everything I can (exercise, weights etc.) before resorting to plastic surgery. BUT I do want to see a consultant and get on the waiting list to see their opinion. If there's absolutely nothing I can do about it, then I will have the surgery. The scars are terrible (from elbow to inside the armpit), but I honestly think I could live with that, and it's something I have thought seriously about. One of my friends has had it done, so I'm well aware of the pain, scarring etc.
My stomach is not so bad and I could definitely live with that. My boobs have shrunk to miniscule proportions, but nothing a wonderbra and some "chicken fillets" can't cure , so at the moment my arms are my main problem.
I just hope the Doctors nice to me Wednesday. They still scare me

Comments

Only a pound to go.

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 13:33:39 +0100

I lost 5lbs at weigh in last night, so only a pound to my offical target and I start on the maintenance programme

I managed to get some exercise in this week, which I know I normally say don't do, but I feel like a tigger at the moment. Or as my Mum would say "like a fart in a colander"!!! I have so much energy I can't keep still (something I never thought I would say). So on Monday I did 15 minutes on my Gazelle (like a cross trainer), Tuesday - walk to my friends, Wednesday - 20 minutes on Gazelle and a walk to the shops in the village, Thursday - 20minutes on Gazelle, Friday - shopping for 2.5 hrs

So it looks like I'm finally coming to the end of my journey. It feels a bit strange, because as I've said before I never finish anything, let alone ever get far enough in weight loss to start maintaining.

I'm a bit scared of starting to introduce food, but I'm also excited that I'll finally be able to go out and really start living a normal life again.

Obviously I shall keep you updated with my maintenance progress (around 8 weeks I think). Then after that I shall have to bore you with my exercise and gym routine, as I shall definitely be going back to the gym when I'm eating and have enough calories to sustain me through a proper exercise regime.

p.s I have handed in my application for for Cambridge Counsellor, so keep your fingers crossed for me.

Comments

V Festival

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 14:05:12 +0100

I've got weekend tickets to the V Festival at Weston Park in August.

Hubby decided he wanted to go for his 40th birthday (17th August) instead of having a party, so we're taking number 2 son with us. Number one son doesn't fancy the line-up this year - Download is more his thing.

I'm so excited. It's the first time in my life I've ever been to any sort of festival or concert (hubby booked tickets to one once for a surprise, but I was so worried I wouldn't fit in the seats I wouldn't go )

Luckily it's only down the road from me, so not far to travel. (although hubby was trying to use it as an excuse to buy a campervan!!!)

Comments

Bloscars

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:24:35 +0100

Well I'm speechless for once in my life.

First of all I wasn't expecting to get nominated and just happened to notice my blog listed. But to win Inspirational Blogger - I can't believe it.

Thanks to whichever mad people voted for me.

Congratulations to all the other winners - I'm just catching up with the ones that aren't on my friends list.

Finally a big thank you to Paddy for organising it all and AJ for his graphics xx

Comments

Rewards

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 10:49:05 +0100

Everyone talks about rewarding yourself for dieting. A manicure for 7lbs lost, a facial for 14lbs lost etc etc.
I didn't actually bother with any of these, although I wish I'd saved a £1 for every lb I lost

These are my rewards:-

Energy
Happiness
Confidence
Being able to shop anywhere and know they'll have my size
Crossing my legs
Bending over to put my shoes on
Getting a couple of shoe sizes smaller
The water flows around me and down the plughole in the bath (instead of making a dam)
Knowing I'll fit in "normal" seats with arms and at tables with fixed benches
I can walk for hours without my feet aching
I can get up in the morning and walk downstairs without being completely stiff
Blending into the background
To be able to go to the Doctors and not have them blame whatever my ailment is on my weight
Seatbelts fit (even in little sports cars)
When my friends clothes get too small they give them to me (can you imagine???)
Cameras don't scare me
I can get off a low settee without doing an impression of a pregnant woman
My husband can pick me up with ease
I don't have to walk sideways down the aisle of the bus.

Comments

Updated photos

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 14:16:27 +0100

These are my updated photos. First one is taken one week into my Cambridge Diet. The second is -190lbs later.

Comments

Body Loathing

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 14:11:21 +0100

I was reading a magazine article yesterday that I found very interesting. Now for years I've hated myself and absolutely loathed my body.

The reasons listed for body loathing were:-

being bullied or teased at school for being overweight

a casual remark from someone about looking fat

parents who were overly controlling about what you ate

parents or other people in your life who were critical of your appearance or compared you unfavourably to siblings or friends

being singled out by peers or family for looking "different" in some way

developing earlier or later than peers

having been sexually abused or assaulted

low self-esteem

I won't go into which ones apply to me, but 7 out of the 8 do

Makes you think doesn't it. But anyway the past is the past now. My hubby says the biggest change about me losing weight is how happy I am now.

Finally I am actually learning to love my body, despite the stretch marks and loose skin and accept myself for me now. In the beginning it just reminded me of the damage I'd done to myself but now I see it as an indication of how far I've come. Believe me, this body with all it's faults is way better than the old one

Comments

190lbs gone!!!!

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 11:55:56 +0100

and hello 160's

I did it I lost 4lbs this week, making me under 12 stone

Being obsessed with numbers, I can remember every weight I've been at every point in my life apart from 13 stone something and now 11 stone something. Obviously I was at some point, but I can't ever remember seeing 11 something on the scales.

Only 6lbs officially left to go now, and I'm under my original target of 12 stone

I quite fancy rounding my loss up to 200lbs lost which means I have to get down to 11 stone 3, but we'll see about that

Comments

Holidays

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 14:50:16 +0100

I'm getting a strange urge to go abroad for the first time in my life

First of all I used my "fear of flying" as an excuse. I am actually scared of flying, but more than that I was scared of not fitting in the seat. The other more embarassing problem was that even in this country (although I adore the sun) I was constantly hot, sweaty and uncomfortable. I would get so sweaty I constantly had to wear dark clothes. The reason for this was that my thighs were so big it looked like I had wet myself and I couldn't sit on chairs because I would leave a wet patch behind and I constantly had to carry a spare pair of knickers in my handbag.

Much to my amazement now I have a gap at the top of my thighs, so no longer have this problem (thank goodnes!!), and of course I'm always bloody freezing now. The sun should suit me just fine >" class="middle" border="0">

I now have a sudden longing to go abroad and get some sand and sunshine. I'm sure I can put up with the flying. I'll just take a book to distract me

So now I have to get a passport and get me a lovely holiday booked. Any suggestions?? As long as its hot. I also don't fancy the thought of lying on a beach all day. I like to go to museums and art galleries, exhibitions, walking, sightseeing etc. (still need to get the exercise in).

Comments

300 Days

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 12:02:55 +0100

on the Cambridge Diet. That's 3 times longer than most people have to do.

My advice is - if you've only got a couple of stone to lose, DO IT NOW.

Don't wait until you've got more than half your bodyweight to lose.

It's hard!!!!

Comments